“Of course I am.” Isn’t that what everyone would say? If you asked 100 people, I am sure over 90 percent would say yes. However, the reality is that most people are not very self-aware. Just today, I was surprised by someone telling me that I sometimes come across abrupt in my emails. I find this funny because, although I was surprised, I also realize that this isn’t the first time I have heard this.
How do you know if you are self-aware or self-unaware? It’s by the people you surround yourself with. If you only use your perception, you’ll never be able to determine how aware you are of how people perceive you. The quality of self-awareness is almost entirely dependent on feedback from those around you. Many people tend to choose people to surround themselves with that validate their own view of themselves. Few of us could remain in relationships with people who continually point out our flaws, challenge our biases, and tell us the truth about what we project. So, we probably have some ratio of people who are honest with us compared to those that just tell us what we want to hear. Then people either remain friends with us or when they get to know us they disappear.
How do you know which one you are? You don’t. So, you have to act as if you’re not. You need to find people that will be honest with you by continually discussing the parts of you that may be flawed with people who will give you honest feedback about your behavior. If you don’t have anyone that discusses such things with you, either you are perfect or you are self-unaware. And guess which one you are?
Once you begin to surround yourself with people that challenge you to be the best you can be, then you’re on the road to self-awareness.
If you are having trouble in any of your intimate relationships, increased self-awareness will help you improve those relationships. Contact us today for your first free session to allow us to help you.